starting over again (again) is not a failure

transition time

It’s a time of transition in my life. My current job has been given to someone else as a result of the merger that I personally worked on for the last eight months (honestly, I’m not bitter). I’m in a strange limbo, but I’m no longer travelling for work. And that’s a great thing.

fresh start

Not having to travel any longer means that I can get back into a beloved routine. I am very much a creature of habit. I thrive on being at home, doing mundane things, checking off my little to-do list every day. I got groceries on the weekend and stocked my refrigerator with healthy food and packed lunches for the week. I’m back in our gym, one of my happy places, and back on my home Peloton bike with regularity. I’m walking Maggie, our Foxhound, in our neighbourhood. And my work situation has given me a bit of a wake up call. I’m still working diligently, but I’m no longer willing to work long hours: I’m coming home at a respectable time every day. Chris and I are trying to spend more quality time together. I’m working on not taking out my frustrations on him.

obstacles

Maybe it was an excuse, but during the last eight months of my life – when I was travelling every week to a stressful work situation, eating nearly every meal in restaurants, drinking alcohol everyday just because it was there, not having access to a decent gym, being lonely – I found it impossible to not gain weight. Twenty-five pounds, to put a number on it. I don’t like having to face the prospect of re-losing weight that I’ve lost before, but here we are. On the flip side, I’m not ashamed – or at least I’m working hard on not being ashamed – because I have gone through a lot and honestly, I could have gained even more. So, this is why I’m excited about a fresh start.

starting to stabilize

I don’t have complete stability in my life and my future work life is very, very unclear right now – but I’m home and I’m back in control of many things that were out of my control for a long time. I know that I’m in a much better place to get back to a healthy obsession about my wellbeing.

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